I Actually Watch Organiclab.zip Instagram Stories

First things first, yes, I am very online. I’m on Instagram up to 3 hours every day— shout out JTTB group chat— and I’m aware that this is melting my brain. My eyes are blasted with overstimulating content every single day like it’s slime from the Double Dare obstacle course. In my quest to come off as much cooler and hipper than I really am, I have embarked on my own personal Sisyphean punishment: I have committed to watching every single image on the Organiclab.zip daily Instagram story. For those of you who may not follow @organiclab.zip— you must be new to JTTB, so welcome— it is the go-to moodboard for the intersection of pretentious rich people jawn-heads and anti-industrial Kaczynski sympathizers.

Look at the length of this story. If one of your friends ever does this, it’s an instant mute. I, like many of my contemporaries, have zero attention span. This could result from a plethora of things: growing up on the internet, years of video games, television, but it’s most likely because of these 00. It is almost impossible to get me to watch even a full music video anymore. I can maybe make it through a TikTok if it’s directed by Bong Joon-ho. All of that said, I still put aside as much time as necessary to tap through and absorb Organiclab.zip’s 50 to 80 frame-long Instagram story every day.

I want you to know this is a herculean task that I have embarked on, and one for which I should be showered with praise. I can’t refresh Instagram without seeing that Fibonacci sequence at the top of my screen. There is always a new story from Organic Lab. The constant blitzkrieg of Arc’teryx jackets, Snow Peak tents, and Chilean landscapes has completely brainwashed me. I’m taking self-timer pictures wearing three Arc’teryx products next to my fiddle leaf fig. This is as big a cry for help as Justin Bieber’s last album. I’m wearing expensive technical jackets to a rock climbing gym. I’m going to the Pacific Northwest just to see the big trees. I’ve become a simp for bougie outdoors content.

All of this is happening because of my addiction to being hot and cool, and I have @Organiclab.zip to thank for inspiring my mid-twenties granola phase. This is the hard work and elbow grease my friends just aren’t willing to do. They wouldn’t last a day in the trenches being surrounded by nothing but Instagram stories and blog posts. Yes, I’m probably the only person on the planet that actually watches these and yes, I have a lot of them to catch up on right now. These are the sacrifices I make to be a JTTB staff writer.