The 5 Stages of Grief

There is a day all of us dread. The day that our middle-coolest friend asks us if we’ve ever heard of Kapital. Or maybe they send you a photo of Kanye wearing an under-the-radar workwear brand via Instagram DM with a casual “this is sick.”

You can’t help but scoff and do a quick mental calculation so you can tell your naive friend how long you’ve known about this brand before them. Maybe you add 6-12 months for effect. You’ve made your point for now, but this is but the first of many red flags that your favorite brand is about to become unwearable. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote a book on the ensuing psychological process called On Death and Dying. No one is dead but the potential death of your favorite just-niche-enough label is almost a worse fate.

While the stages are clearly defined, there is no right or wrong amount of time to go through them. It could take months, years, even decades to move on from such a loss…some may never, but it is imperative you allow yourself time to grieve.

1. Denial and Isolation - At first, it is impossible to believe. You wonder if, for once, your averagely-cool friend is ahead of the curve. Maybe he learned about Visvim through a chance encounter with another loose-lipped Jawnz Enthusiast. You try your best to convince yourself that your favorite brand is safe for a few more months, safe in the obscurity of an Instagram account with less than 100k followers.

You let yourself think that your friend believed you when you told them most of their pieces are “pretty out there” and that “they don’t really have anything wearable”. As a microtastemaker*, you realize it might be best to avoid reposting their latest lookbook to let things cool off. It might even require a few days inside so your fits don’t tip-off other clout leeches as to what brands they should be paying attention to.

2. Anger - As it becomes more and more clear that your favorite brand’s least interesting items are about to become statement pieces for the tasteless, you begin to get angry. Reality has set in and instead of coping with the loss like a seasoned tastemaker, you begin to curse the day Instagram made the niche accessible.

Obviously, this is not going to solve the problem, but you can’t help but to begin telling anyone that will listen that Tumblr was a superior social platform that normies never fully infiltrated. This is not rational or correct, but who cares? You’re about to become indistinguishable from hypebeasts wearing thousands of dollars worth of other peoples’ taste.

3. Bargaining - You are nothing without your ability to find undiscovered brands that are doing something similar to another brand that already exists but at a higher cost and with maybe greater attention to detail. This is now being ripped away from you by aforementioned clout leeches and all you can do is try to regain some form of control. You let them obsess over a few pieces; you resign yourself to the fact that the logo sweatshirt that was once part of your “if you know you know” wardrobe has now become too gauche to even consider leaving the house in. That is as much as you can allow though; at night you consider praying to any god that will listen that they leave the unbranded staples alone.

4. Depression and/or Existential crisis has set in. You begin to consider if your lifestyle is worth it. Why bother seeking out these brands if they’re just going to be commandeered by people who only cop off the feed? The only thing stopping you from ending it is knowing that at least these posers don’t even know how to skate (and neither do you but that’s beside the point). In these dark times, human touch is important. Find a fellow Fashionhead that understands what you’re going through and just hug it out.

5. Acceptance - If you’ve made it this far, congratulations; most never do. You have been given a gift and you must carry on, though perhaps a little less whole than you once were. This is all just part of the Circle of Life(style brands); as one brand dies, a new one is bound to enter our closets. Take a deep breath and renew your search for the next esoteric piece you can add to the collection.

*Someone with less than 1,000 followers whose main job is curating IG stories, and posting on Grailed.