Stop Wearing Big Sunglasses!
There is an epidemic in American culture that needs to end and end in the very near future. That epidemic is people wearing large sunglasses.
I think the fascination with completely obstructing one’s face stems from people like Anna Wintour and Karl Lagerfeld, whose iconic visages will always be associated with their enormous sunglasses obfuscating their judgmental eyes. News flash: most of you aren’t Anna or Karl and will never be able to pull off that look, so please, I beg of you – stop trying it.
Most people go through life thinking that their huge sunglasses are a great way to come off as mysterious, aloof, and cool. What it tells me is that you’re hiding something from the world. Now it could be that you’re hungover, but it also might indicate that you’re ugly and want to hide it. If you’re not ugly, you shouldn’t be hiding your face!
It’s my personal belief that glasses (both sunglasses and eyeglasses for the vision-impaired) are arguably the most important accessory in one’s wardrobe. When I look at someone wearing cheap sunglasses, you’re sending a message to the world. That message? I am irresponsible and cannot keep something nice without breaking/losing them. On the opposite end of the spectrum, people who spend too much money on sunglasses are akin to people who wear Gucci belts or Golden Goose sneakers. Much like everything else in life, there needs to be a good balance.
Glasses should be both practical and stylish. You will be wearing them a lot, so they should be comfortable, but also reflect your personal style. Branding should be minimal – (wear something covert, so only the people who know will know how much you spent). The glasses should fit and frame your face well. Rule of thumb: if your eyebrows are covered by your sunglasses, odds are that they are too big for your face.
Pick a frame that draws attention to your face. (After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul.) However, unless you’re DJ Khaled or a club promoter in Miami, avoid those massive Versace frames. Additionally, contrary to popular belief, aviators DO NOT work on everybody. When looking, take the same amount of time you would to search for a specific video on PornHub. Try on multiple pairs and styles, and have someone you can trust to find a pair that works on your face.
Brands that have great frames:
Ray Ban: Yes, they maybe basic, but there’s a reason they remain in business and arguably the biggest name in the sunglass market. Check out these or these.
Warby Parker: Ray-Bans for people who watch A24 “films”.* I love this pair and this pair as well.
Moscot: A bit pricy, but a solid company that has dominated New York for nearly a century. I like these but understand that they could be a bit off-putting. For an alternative try these.
Oliver Peoples: For those of you with the means to flex, they make beautiful, sophisticated frames. I personally love these pairs.
* We would like to note our fellow writer Jack, who happens to call movies “films” and cannot conceal his Freudian desire to refer to Chloë Sevigny as “mommy” swears by her Warby Parker “Tate” frames.
