Essential Quarantine Reads
As consumerism seems to be our main source of identity under the current state of Neoliberalism, few things are more defining of oneself than a robust bookshelf. While your summer staple of Carhartt WIP Sid Pants and a Buck Mason white tee shows off your American pragmatism, how you’re not afraid of showing an honest day’s sweat and embracing the simplicities of life, it serves as a poor painting of identity compared to the dynamic works of Ernest Hemingway, Edith Wharton, and John Dos Passos adorning your bookcase. In today’s world, where reading books is becoming a rarer and rarer hobby and more a yearly chore for the generally literate populace, books are becoming unbelievably cheap. There is no reason to skimp on knowledge in today’s world. As the legend Bun B once said, “Go read a book you illiterate son of a bitch and step up your vocab.” The modern man should heed Bun’s advice and develop a bookcase that is just as diverse and full-bodied as their closet. Rather than doing another Instagram challenge, take a moment to review this list of essential reading selections for the Coronavirus Quarantine of 2020.
I Am Legend
In a world of a seemingly unending quarantine, it’s important to revisit a pop culture classic that reminds us we could always be lonelier. While Will Smith (perhaps the best “movie date” actor, rivaled only by Matthew McConaughey) gave the role of Dr. Robert Melville life in the mid-aughts blockbuster hit, the movie diverges significantly from the novel. Written by Richard Matheson in 1954, I Am Legend is a novel about a disease that turns people into a vampire/zombie that would give rise to both horror genre movies. While you may not run into any zombies during this pandemic— save for the mindless preppers roaming your local grocery store hoarding paper products— I Am Legend is a quick pop read to help lighten the severity of our own quarantine and show how to embrace the lowbrow in our media ecosystem. I suggest getting the mass market paperback version with Will Smith on the cover.
Love in the Time of Cholera
Here is another case of "the book was better than the movie." Love in the Time of Cholera, written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez in 1985, details the lives of two childhood sweethearts and their relationships over half a century. The book speaks to the depths of the agony of love, when those butterflies inside your stomach all are set aflame at once, and how that pain compares to cholera. You should read this book because it will constantly be referenced over the next year (and if it’s not, then it’ll be Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s novel One Hundred Years of Solitude). It is a beautiful story and GGM is able to capture the true magic of life unlike any author before him. The hardcover edition depicting Fermina Daza lying idly on a couch is the ultimate grail, though a more widely-produced hardcover edition is much more accessible.
Spillover: Animal Infections and the Next Human Pandemic
If you want to use your time in semi-isolation to better yourself, you sound like a “Well, actually” fool and do I have a book to keep your mind occupied. Spillover by David Quamaan is a 500 page atomic bomb of knowledge on zoonosis diseases. After the Ebola outbreak in the 2000’s, David Quamaan investigated diseases that jump from animals to humans and how these diseases would affect our lives. While Quamaan interviews many scientists and doctors about these diseases, focusing on SARS, Ebola, and HIV, he does touch on others, such as Hendra, Marburg, and our dear Coronavirus. This book will fill you to the brim with the knowledge you need to casually ruin someone’s day discussing our near futures. I would suggest the paperback edition, as you will be curling pages out of anxiety while reading.
Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court
If you are like me, you have been entirely distraught without sports— mainly college basketball and the NBA. Life can feel mighty empty without sports; instead of using your day to examine betting lines and running simulations on the day’s game, you’re facing the void, probably thinking about that one person in your life wishing you had asked them to quarantine with you. But fear not, dear reader. Though we do not have sports, we can still read about them. And there is nothing better to read in March than John Wooden, winner of ten March Madness championships and, most importantly, a renowned leader of men. Every sport will get one coach every three or so generations who absolutely dominate their field— Bill Belichick, Gregg Popovich, Paul Brown and John Wooden are all examples of this type of greatness. Surprisingly, these greats have always preached a message of simplicity in their execution. In Wooden, Coach Wooden writes down his guide to life in digestible anecdotes from his experiences. This book will instill you with the knowledge you need to become a champion in your own field of life. If getting better every single day is important to you, then you need to own the hardcover. Its ocean blue background and golden accents will become your personal bible, and this time the prosperity gospel is real.
Infinite Jest
Infinite Jest is on this list because it has been on every other list since its publishing in 1996. It is both the most overrated and underrated book under Pomo fiction. It is either a frightening description of our human life under the economics of neoliberalism and the control exerted by the pornopharmocopia, or a bloviated novel that wastes the reader’s time in true postmodern fashion. Either way, you’ll have plenty of time under a 4-6 week quarantine to read this staple of American literature. David Foster Wallace’s 1,200 page beast is full of footnotes that must be read in order and at the time of citation if you want to follow the novel. The novel covers a wide range of subjects, including but not limited to: math, tennis, high school, girls, Alcoholics Anonymous, AM Radio Stations, Quebecois politics, government conspiracies, and, most importantly, what entertainment means to us as people. If getting into the middle of the most pretentious and bad faith conversations with regards to modern literature appeals to you, consider spending the next month cuddled up with the 20 year edition of Infinite Jest.
The best part about investing in hard-copy books under quarantine is that even if you don't want to read them or use them as paperweights, they can always become a toilet paper alternative by week three of the shut in. Your Kindle won’t give you that kind of security.